"Merry..."

Merry "late" Christmas for people.

I believe that no one would say "Christmas of 2010 was awful!" or "the gifts I've got for this year were what I wanted."

I've spent relax time with my roomie's family and their friends. Who knows I would have a Christmas dinner in Hawaii...me neither.

I just reviewed my last year's 25th, a lot of feelings about my little home in Japan came into my consciousness.

I'd like to explain that feeling but I'm supposed to be not able to do that so...

去年の今日、家にはお母さんと弟がいた。

お父さんはいつも通り家にいないし、お姉ちゃんも外出していていつもの三人と二匹だった。

お母さんが奮発して買ってきたという"日本風クリスマス料理"と、形の決していいとは言えない私と弟でつくったケーキがテーブルに並ぶ。

誕生日というわけではないけれど、ろうそくを立ててみる。(そして大体ここで弟とどちらがろうそくを消すかで喧嘩になって、結局二人で消す)

豪華な飾りつけも、プレゼントも、お洒落な音楽もないけれど、鮮明に思い出せるのはきっと懐かしいからではなく"恋しい"からなんだろう。

Anyway, mey you have a great holiday with your lovers... :)

"Where's my samurai?"

The last week for 1 semester's crews came out.

Mostly, the winter break is just there. Fortunately, I'm not going to back home in this time because I applied for 2 semesters.

If I were one of the members who had to go back to Japan by January, I woudn't be ready to say hello again to my family and friends in Japan.

I'd never listened 80 to 90s' Japanese music much before, however, I actually have kept listening them since I got in America.

Just one my favorite..."Butterfly" from DDR.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T9sz9QzsWXc

People whose generation is the same as me, must feel nostalgic sense for this song.

One more thing briefly...

One of my friends who has studied abroad on the same college got a new boyfriend.

I always have felt kinda distance between us which I didn't feel before (when we were in Japan).

If I liken this friend to something, I would answer she is "a hedgefog held sharp needles on back."

She has polished herself well through getting new inspiration from this journey to America.

I think, now, she is much better than before. She is not who she was anymore from my inner sight.

Her English, personality, friendliness...everything seems to shine more and more like the story of raw stone.

On the other hand, I have walked slower and often stumbled even a tiny stone.

I seemed to do anything like her. Just spending to paint the time gray not to see forward on which she stands.

NEGATIVE FACE...

I bet.

I am an stupid and pissed out.

But, I want to be a person that a few people understand.

I can't be herself like a person that everyone likes.

"misunderstood genius"

Prejudice and Respect

I've kept on re-identifiding who I am since I became the minority of majority. People here call us "Asian" to be tagged/identified me and run into me as an outsider for them.

Just a few minutes ago, one or two students pulled the doors and looked around the lounge in the residence hall. And the moment they found "Asian" in the room, they closed the doors and left the room like they saw something weird.

I felt, simply, they were not willing to use the same room as Asian. "Ah...Asian is there....I did want to study here but I can't because I don't want to...."

Of course, it doesn't mean all of American students discriminate the minority (In this case, Asian people) but I can't stop thinking about slight bad feeling for them when I see any people whose face looks like uncomfortable.

I thought I did know the country America was based on many kinds of races, traditions, religions and so forth. The big movements of immigration created this country and people who live in America are just people as well as others. On the other hand, sometimes the reality would be beyond my expectation and makes me terrible feeling.

One of my friends told me that I had to respect people even if someone tick off me badly because of differences between two unfamiliar cultures. They are human being before people who are labed as one particular race.

However, to understand and overcome the prejudice should be still severe....*sigh*

Something began to fade and rust

Thanks giving break began, how you guys have spent time during this break so far?

I and two of my friends who have studied abroad in U.S are in South part of Minnesota right now for homestay. My friend's house is very nice, comfortable, and great family here.

This noon, I went to Akita, which is a Japanese restaurant near his house. It just take 10 min and he brought us by his Honda.

The dishes we ate there were pretty good and their taste were really similar to Japanese ones. We ordered many kinds of rolls, tempra, several cups of miso soup, and green tea icecream.

The most delicious dish I had in this restaurant was vegetable Udon. Thick white noodle, exact Japanese flavored soup, everything recalls me Japan.

Secretly, I decided to visit there again, and we now backed to his house.

1 year and 3 months, have passed unconsciously since I recoganized the existance of him. However, an unexpected fact from his conversation yesterday has kept me.....somewhere from him. Yellow Tulips, dry love, is here. I stopped walking because I found them around me. Yellow tulip is fading.

I expected the time "it" happened and I thought I could deal with it like picking off them. But, the yellow tulips are fading so fast, and it seems that "I" desire to delete every flowers before they are going to blossom out completely.

Sadly, I am not such a person who has great courage to cut out them...

How people judge themself and others?

Trees were tore off their dress and lost the color of the sun. The white missionary will come here soon to knit warm sweater for them.

Approximate three months have passed from the enegetic summer to nostalgic winter.

The sky is gone like they they found how to turn the light.

Numerous fairy tale's characters show up to tell us their tragedies.

I think I stepped forward a little bit than before.

However, the problematic conflicts are confronting to me.

Whenever communicating with people who have differences and similarities, we have to see ourselves through the opponents' behaviors, inner emotions, and so on.

Sometimes, the languages become either a sword which unconsciously hurts each other or a gift which brings us warm feeling with a smile.

How people judge whether it is "right" or "wrong" thing for them?

Everthing not belonged to yourself should be eliminated with a sword?

Even if you are intensive and avoidable to be injured from the million of "linguistic" sharp arrows with a big "emotional" fury, it would be too tough to cry out.

How you judge yourself and others?

The awareness of sense of "self"

Thank you for coming here, I was not here for a long time because I was kinda busy in order to processing to study abroad. But now I am here, Minnesota which is one of the states of U.S.A.

When looking over the summer, I realized how I've never put myself on hard working. I always escape from stuff I don't want to do. I pretended it completely.

I still can't write what I want to tell in English well because I've done nothing. I'd like to try so give me a chance one more time....

Statement for Minnesota and Friends

　How's it going this week end, everyone? Mine's just the same as usual but I almost have felt the beginning of spring vacation. (Actually, this break will be pretty busy in order to studying for TOEFL, TOEIC, and the other exams)

　I handed in applications for studying abroad in Minnesota through exchange program of university. One paper of them, is the statement about "Why I apply for this program" and "What I'd like to do at that university", and I had to write it around 500 words without someone's helps. When i wrote my essay for Writing class of this semester, I used to ask some Chat Lounge partners to modify it so that I was affraid of if I made a mistake in my statement. However, I did go over many times not to do so. At that time, I realized that I ought to review how to write essays with books....

I've done to write it so that I'd like to get down it on my blog. :D

"Statement for Studying Abroad"

　There are three factors which I determined to study abroad in Minnesota as an exchange student. I took long time to make a final decision because it wasn’t easy for me to clarify my intention to try something I haven’t experienced. However, thanks to these factors, I could decide at last to apply for this program for myself.

　First, it was exchange students from Minnesota. They have taught me a lot of things which I have never known before during their stay in Japan, so spending time with them is one of the great experiences in my school life. By the way of example, I had some opportunities to teach Japanese to exchange students, and then I found it that teaching Japanese in English isn’t easy for me even though my mother tongue is Japanese. Therefore I felt chagrined at the fact I couldn’t explain what they asked me, so I pushed myself to the max with their helps to make teaching Japanese in English better. Consequently, I just realized that I did enjoy studying fully. Of course, this is not equivalent that I can use English entirely, but I think it was a great improvement. The time of studying Japanese and English with exchange students gave me a new viewpoint about learning difficult things. At that time, I thought it would be inquired to work hard if I study in unknown surrounding, but I’m pretty sure that it must be very fruitful as well as this experience.
　Secondly, I have interests about not only American society and culture but also people and their lifestyle since I started to take some classes of learning America. There are many differences and similarities between America and Japan. As a small sample of this, Japanese people generally bow as greeting behavior when meeting someone. On the other hand, American people never do this like Japanese because they don’t practice the custom of bowing. The origin of this is possible-associated with traditional rules each country. But Japan and America are the same at the particular point, which have the attitude of respect for people. As just described, I think that the comparison of two things and discovery of differences and similarities are basic method for understanding each other. While I’m studying America in classes and comparing with the other countries including Japan, America became an object of theme of my graduation thesis. This is one reason that I’m interested in America and I’d like to go abroad to study in the field.
　The most decisive reason of all is to broaden my knowledge, and also I’d like to take on challenge whatever I want to do. Sadly, I have never been to foreign country so that I have only learned overseas including America on the indirect ways. If I can get the acceptance of this program, I’ll have no doubt that the school life is going to be pretty hard beyond my imagination. Even so, I’m willing to be strict with myself not to give up because best results certainly arise from the hard effort.

　I think there are any mistakes I didn't notice, but it shows how I need to practice writing what I want to argue on the essay. If I can get its acceptance, there will be only ４ months left till I go to Minnesota. I think this length isn't long for preparation. I don't know whether I can study abroad in Minnesota from summer, but I'm sure that I do work hard. I appriciated that I could be their friends, who always have encouraged me.